刚刚从一个葬礼回来, 心情有点酸因为死者是从小看我看到大的姑婆. 虽然我叫她姑婆但是我们并没有亲戚关系. 我妈妈和她同姓的, 所以从小我就叫她姑婆. 可是以后我也没有机会再叫她一声姑婆了.......... 但是我相信她在天国会找到她的快乐的. 现在的我对生命的看法已经看的很开了...... 人本来就会离开, 这个是改变不了的事实. 所以..... 我的性情很快的就收回来了. 我觉得人在离开之前可以做一件有意义的事, 走都走的快乐......... 所以我每天都会把握机会去做一些有意义的事, 例如我每天都会照顾我的健康, 因为懂得照顾健康的人就是对父母亲最大的回报. 如果有一天我真的到了生命的终点, 我也不会带着遗憾而走.....................
故婆你安心的去天国吧.
懂得珍惜自己的健康就是对父母最大的孝顺
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
生活的改变
当我知道考试的结果后，我非常的不开心. 幸好妈妈一直鼓励我, 所以我就很快的打算重考. 我一直告诉自己不要放弃, 下一次一定考的到, 我的病很快就好起来, 我很快就可以到英国继续我的学业. 就是这一些梦想让我可以继续的撑下去.
这些日子我只吃很清淡的食物, 每天早上吃面包, 有时吃米粉煮水或干捞米粉(只放一点点酱油, 下午就吃蒸鱼或蔬菜(也是只有一点点酱油吧了)晚上跟下午的差不多. 我喜欢吃的加哩鸡, 油炸的食物, 薯片, 汽水, 所有都不可以吃了. 每天还有甜品, 甜品就是黑浓浓的中药. 那些味道真的很难,很难喝. 有时看到镜子里面的自己非常的伤心害怕, 一个没有头发, 脸色苍白还有骨艘如材的身体. 但是我还需要撑下去因为有家人和朋友的自持, 又其时,妈妈. 我知道每个晚上都站在我的床边痛苦, 看见自己的孩子变成这个样子.
朋友, 有时候我们觉得自己非常的痛苦, 但是最童心的是一直看着你辛苦的人.
这些日子我只吃很清淡的食物, 每天早上吃面包, 有时吃米粉煮水或干捞米粉(只放一点点酱油, 下午就吃蒸鱼或蔬菜(也是只有一点点酱油吧了)晚上跟下午的差不多. 我喜欢吃的加哩鸡, 油炸的食物, 薯片, 汽水, 所有都不可以吃了. 每天还有甜品, 甜品就是黑浓浓的中药. 那些味道真的很难,很难喝. 有时看到镜子里面的自己非常的伤心害怕, 一个没有头发, 脸色苍白还有骨艘如材的身体. 但是我还需要撑下去因为有家人和朋友的自持, 又其时,妈妈. 我知道每个晚上都站在我的床边痛苦, 看见自己的孩子变成这个样子.
朋友, 有时候我们觉得自己非常的痛苦, 但是最童心的是一直看着你辛苦的人.
Monday, May 25, 2009
人生的十年
之前我讲过, 做了肾移植之后的生活. 但系我都知道还有好多我身边的人, 还是不会珍惜他们所拥有的健康. 他们都亲眼见证过, 我患病的其间, 他们都看过我最辛苦的情况, 他们都看过我在医院满身都是管, 但系我真的不明白为什么他们到了现在对他们的健康没有醒觉? 或者我现在健康了, 所以把我之前所经历过的望得一干二净? 如果真有此事, 我想...... 如果可以嚷他们对健康有了醒觉.....的话, 我领域我从来没有康复
喝少一点酒会死吗? 抽少一点烟会吃亏吗? 少吃一点煎炸的食物会很辛苦吗? 当我回来之后我看到这一群曾经为我而感到伤心的人, 为我祈祷的人, 为我担心的人, 望了对他们的健康. 我以我的经历可以唤醒他们对健康的重要! 什么出来应酬一定要烟酒不可少的, 男人出来参朋友烟酒不可避免的, 抽了这么多年戒不到的, 有事就死啦, 我做到这样辛苦吃一些都不可以吗? 我习惯到了凌晨才睡, 这些又不可以那些又不可以那.. 做人有什么意思呢? 我听到这些非常伤心, 他们真的不孝子女, 因为一个对父母孝顺的儿女就事会照顾身体的儿女. 人生有多少个十年可以嚷我们从新开始? 不是每个人的生命都有Take Two!. 现在我最大的心愿就是希望有一天我可以用我的口才来唤醒我身边的人对健康的醒觉.
朋友人生真的没有多少个十年, 珍惜你的每个十年吧.
喝少一点酒会死吗? 抽少一点烟会吃亏吗? 少吃一点煎炸的食物会很辛苦吗? 当我回来之后我看到这一群曾经为我而感到伤心的人, 为我祈祷的人, 为我担心的人, 望了对他们的健康. 我以我的经历可以唤醒他们对健康的重要! 什么出来应酬一定要烟酒不可少的, 男人出来参朋友烟酒不可避免的, 抽了这么多年戒不到的, 有事就死啦, 我做到这样辛苦吃一些都不可以吗? 我习惯到了凌晨才睡, 这些又不可以那些又不可以那.. 做人有什么意思呢? 我听到这些非常伤心, 他们真的不孝子女, 因为一个对父母孝顺的儿女就事会照顾身体的儿女. 人生有多少个十年可以嚷我们从新开始? 不是每个人的生命都有Take Two!. 现在我最大的心愿就是希望有一天我可以用我的口才来唤醒我身边的人对健康的醒觉.
朋友人生真的没有多少个十年, 珍惜你的每个十年吧.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
240509
Lately really damn busy and the pc got bit problem and thats why I leave the blog for such a long period. Until today, hm......... ok la still have time to drop some words. 230509 means 23May 2009 and today was the 3rd yrs and 5days I done my kidney transplant. Actualy, frankly speaking after 3years plus, I do not feel any different, I am just like a normal people.
我现在可以做回以前做不 到的事. 现在我的生活非常的充实.一, 三, 五 打太级,别二,四,六打羽毛球, 还有,还有, 星期天去上口才训练班. 去年我从训练班得到了最佳学员和最佳演义将. 我还去了智障儿童中心去做探访, 也去了国家洗肾中心做义买筹款. 真的非常的开心, 我也打算继续我的学业, 如果金钱上容许, 我想考回一个Degree当作实现我的心愿. 现在我每逢星期天都陪妈妈去market买菜, 还有一起研究做蛋糕. 这些是我十多年前想做的,确但是由于我的病情我做不到. 幸好我当初选对了去做肾移植.
朋友,有些决定要敢敢去做, 可能它的回报比你想象中更多!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
没有头发的日子
在没办法之下, 妈妈到处去寻找有效ger药来医我ger病. 有一日,有个人介绍我妈妈用小臭豆水来医我的病. 小臭豆水非常的难喝, 但系都要照喝因为我怕死lor........... Almost 2 weeks I drank the soup and I din't see any improvement, the worst was my hair started to fall. Earlier I am not that worry because it doesn't drop much until one day I tried to pull a pinch of hair out from my head, I easily pull out the hair . Then only I realize that my hair start to fall seriously and it just like having cancer at the critical stage. My weight fall from 65kg to 45++kg in just one month time. As times goes by, I become so skinny and my hair almost bald.
每天我都需要戴帽去街, 甚至要戴帽去番学. 个个同学见到我的状况都很惊讶, 但系拒地个个都好关心我的健康. My body was too week for me to continue my study, so I have been force to stop attending class. What I can do is........ doing home study and went for exam. During that time my college's exam was held in primary school, when I step in the examination hall everybody was so excited because I was wearing cap and I looked so pale. I still remembered mum packed me a lunch box with ABC soup for my exam break. The result for the exam ? Hm....... I can't made it to pass.................
每天我都需要戴帽去街, 甚至要戴帽去番学. 个个同学见到我的状况都很惊讶, 但系拒地个个都好关心我的健康. My body was too week for me to continue my study, so I have been force to stop attending class. What I can do is........ doing home study and went for exam. During that time my college's exam was held in primary school, when I step in the examination hall everybody was so excited because I was wearing cap and I looked so pale. I still remembered mum packed me a lunch box with ABC soup for my exam break. The result for the exam ? Hm....... I can't made it to pass.................
Sunday, May 3, 2009
失去的梦想
At last I told mum the bad news, as I predicted she was so down and fainted. So what can I do ? Take it or leave it ! The next step was....... I have to stop my studies in college and my uncle immediatedly fetch me out from my rented room. The environment of my room was so bad full of dust and shared with 4 persons. My dream to further my study in UK was over everything gone ! 我去英国读Degree的梦玩完lor.............. 我的生活从此完完全全的改变, 系依个时候我可以点阿? 接受啦!
Start from that day my diet was fully controlled, I no more taking outside food. My daily meal only served with steam fish (without oil, soy sauce) and vegetable (without salt and soy sauce). Gosh............ how to eat ? 点样吃阿? 无盐, 无油联酱油都唔多一滴, 真系好难吃. 但系可以点? 唔吃就吃远宝蜡烛ger啦................... Doctor recommended me admit to hospital for fully check up. I remember the 1st day I was admited, there was no bed for me, I just slept on a moveable bed which usually the bed use to carry emergency patient. I only get my bed on the second day, and the environment was bad. The toilet was dirty, the food was bad. I still remember the meal were bread and tea for breakfast, fry fish/curry chicken for lunch and hard boil egg/a little curry for dinner. I don't understand how can they serve patient with this kind of food, CRAZY!!!!! I felt so deseprate, so stress and think to ran away from the hospital. Luckily my uncle told me " We have to change for the environment and not the environment change for us. "
人系要为环境而改变而唔系环境为人而改变.
Start from that day my diet was fully controlled, I no more taking outside food. My daily meal only served with steam fish (without oil, soy sauce) and vegetable (without salt and soy sauce). Gosh............ how to eat ? 点样吃阿? 无盐, 无油联酱油都唔多一滴, 真系好难吃. 但系可以点? 唔吃就吃远宝蜡烛ger啦................... Doctor recommended me admit to hospital for fully check up. I remember the 1st day I was admited, there was no bed for me, I just slept on a moveable bed which usually the bed use to carry emergency patient. I only get my bed on the second day, and the environment was bad. The toilet was dirty, the food was bad. I still remember the meal were bread and tea for breakfast, fry fish/curry chicken for lunch and hard boil egg/a little curry for dinner. I don't understand how can they serve patient with this kind of food, CRAZY!!!!! I felt so deseprate, so stress and think to ran away from the hospital. Luckily my uncle told me " We have to change for the environment and not the environment change for us. "
人系要为环境而改变而唔系环境为人而改变.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
雪上加霜
Doctor recommended me to have a second test for my renal function. For the whole waiting period it just the most suffering period I have ever felt. 虽然短短四五天, 但依几天的折磨真系唔系讲笑, 真系很难过. This few days I started to control my food, sleep early and do a lots of praying, other than that I don't know what else to do. In the mean time I keep on telling my mum not to worry and everything will be fine. Although her emotions seems better than before but I know she was still so sad and worrying.
要来临个一天终于到了, 我真的唔想去检查, 真的不想! 但....在某些情形下系唔可以逃避, 无论点都系要面对. 1st doctor ask me to take blood test for my renal function, then go for ultra sound lastly I need to collect 24hours urine. Doctor ask me to return in 3days time to collect my report. Gosh............... another 3 days! I need suffer 3 more days, it's really crazy! On the 3rd day doctor told me that my report doesn't bring a smile, my condition get worse and the most unacceptable news was....................... I also being diagnose that I was a Hepatitis B carrier and my liver not seems to be healthy. I need to go dialysis immediately and the worse was there is no cure for me ! 点解一日里面有感多坏消息冲着我而来, I really out of my mine ! 依D唔系叫做雪上加霜lor..........There was another challenge waiting for me, how am I going to tell mum all these ?
无论事情有多坏都好, 一定要勇敢面对, 面对至少有个机会, 逃避一定无希望!
要来临个一天终于到了, 我真的唔想去检查, 真的不想! 但....在某些情形下系唔可以逃避, 无论点都系要面对. 1st doctor ask me to take blood test for my renal function, then go for ultra sound lastly I need to collect 24hours urine. Doctor ask me to return in 3days time to collect my report. Gosh............... another 3 days! I need suffer 3 more days, it's really crazy! On the 3rd day doctor told me that my report doesn't bring a smile, my condition get worse and the most unacceptable news was....................... I also being diagnose that I was a Hepatitis B carrier and my liver not seems to be healthy. I need to go dialysis immediately and the worse was there is no cure for me ! 点解一日里面有感多坏消息冲着我而来, I really out of my mine ! 依D唔系叫做雪上加霜lor..........There was another challenge waiting for me, how am I going to tell mum all these ?
无论事情有多坏都好, 一定要勇敢面对, 面对至少有个机会, 逃避一定无希望!
Monday, April 27, 2009
090396
9th of March 1996 (090396) I will remember this date the whole of my life. This date totally change my life, everything was change just in a single day. I still can smell the air of the environment on this day and it wss still fresh. The smell was sour and full of hopeless. This day the doctor told me that my kidney was not functioning good and I was being diagnosed with kidney failure. Yes , kidney failure. He told me that both of my kidney started to shrunk and I might need to go for dialysis. At that time I even don't understand what is the meaning of the word " kidney" and also dialysis, not even heard it. After the doctor explained, I knew it and at that moment my world stop and I am breathless. I am only 19 years old and I am having kidney problem. All my hope gone in just a few words....... What am I suppose to do ? Why this happen to me ? How am I going to tell mum? Is this desease just as simple as flu ?
When I was homed, I told mum the news. You know, that is the worst moment I had ever felt. That was the most difficult moment for me to open my mouth to talk with mum. It was so so difficult to start the 1st word! I am too reluctant to speak when I saw her face. I still remember that time when I saw her, she was in the kitchen cooking for my dinner. I can see tears coming out from her eye, my heart was so pain, so pain. I can feel tears start to come out from my eye but I hold it. I start regret for telling her the news. I wish I can ran away from the situation, but I knew I can't. I told her not to worried, this is just a small case and not critical and maybe doctor gave the wrong result. Gosh............ it was not easy to finish the sentence. In just a few minutes I felt that mum become older, more wrinkle on her face and so pity. I am lying on my bed to suffered the pain in my heart. I keep on asking my self " Why? Why I must do something to hurt mum badly! She is innocent.................
No matter how far we go, home is the warmest place.
When I was homed, I told mum the news. You know, that is the worst moment I had ever felt. That was the most difficult moment for me to open my mouth to talk with mum. It was so so difficult to start the 1st word! I am too reluctant to speak when I saw her face. I still remember that time when I saw her, she was in the kitchen cooking for my dinner. I can see tears coming out from her eye, my heart was so pain, so pain. I can feel tears start to come out from my eye but I hold it. I start regret for telling her the news. I wish I can ran away from the situation, but I knew I can't. I told her not to worried, this is just a small case and not critical and maybe doctor gave the wrong result. Gosh............ it was not easy to finish the sentence. In just a few minutes I felt that mum become older, more wrinkle on her face and so pity. I am lying on my bed to suffered the pain in my heart. I keep on asking my self " Why? Why I must do something to hurt mum badly! She is innocent.................
No matter how far we go, home is the warmest place.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
醒啦!醒啦!听到没有? 醒醒阿! 我觉得我的面好痛,好次被人刮紧. 我又听到一把很重中国口音的声音叫我. 当我打开眼时, 我蒙蒙查查的见到一位女人ger样. 之后我就唔记得发生了......... 当我再次醒过来时, 我发觉我奋系床上, 我全身有好多好多tube and wire. I also felt that I can't move my body and my whole body no feeling at all. I stared at my left and right, I saw there were 3 more beds beside me which there were also people lying on it. 我觉得全身好热好热同埋肚古古声响, I also don't know for how long I have been lying on the bed, also I don't when was night or day and also no idea what time and date it was. 然后听到姑娘开始入来又出去. 我问姑娘我奋左几内? 1 day 1 night I have been sleep. Wow, tat is the longest hour I have been slept. 之后我就问自己, 到底医生有无帮我做到肾移植阿? 我好傻地问姑娘, 姑娘哈哈地笑重用一口好重中国口音讲" 小伙子, 当然做了!" YES! YES! YES! 我真系换左肾, 真系阿! 我又再问自己" 系唔系真ger? 我到底系唔系发紧梦阿? 当时真系好多问题问自己, I just can't explain how fantastic was my feeling ! 不知不觉之下我又进入昏迷状态........................
有时做事不要太过在乎事后的成果, 最要在乎系到底对事情你有无100%地付出!
有时做事不要太过在乎事后的成果, 最要在乎系到底对事情你有无100%地付出!
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