雪上加霜

Doctor recommended me to have a second test for my renal function. For the whole waiting period it just the most suffering period I have ever felt. 虽然短短四五天, 但依几天的折磨真系唔系讲笑, 真系很难过. This few days I started to control my food, sleep early and do a lots of praying, other than that I don't know what else to do. In the mean time I keep on telling my mum not to worry and everything will be fine. Although her emotions seems better than before but I know she was still so sad and worrying.

要来临个一天终于到了, 我真的唔想去检查, 真的不想! 但....在某些情形下系唔可以逃避, 无论点都系要面对. 1st doctor ask me to take blood test for my renal function, then go for ultra sound lastly I need to collect 24hours urine. Doctor ask me to return in 3days time to collect my report. Gosh............... another 3 days! I need suffer 3 more days, it's really crazy! On the 3rd day doctor told me that my report doesn't bring a smile, my condition get worse and the most unacceptable news was....................... I also being diagnose that I was a Hepatitis B carrier and my liver not seems to be healthy. I need to go dialysis immediately and the worse was there is no cure for me ! 点解一日里面有感多坏消息冲着我而来, I really out of my mine ! 依D唔系叫做雪上加霜lor..........There was another challenge waiting for me, how am I going to tell mum all these ?

无论事情有多坏都好, 一定要勇敢面对, 面对至少有个机会, 逃避一定无希望!

其实你很幸福的

如果你忍为你很掺很可怜, 请看一看以上的video

090396

9th of March 1996 (090396) I will remember this date the whole of my life. This date totally change my life, everything was change just in a single day. I still can smell the air of the environment on this day and it wss still fresh. The smell was sour and full of hopeless. This day the doctor told me that my kidney was not functioning good and I was being diagnosed with kidney failure. Yes , kidney failure. He told me that both of my kidney started to shrunk and I might need to go for dialysis. At that time I even don't understand what is the meaning of the word " kidney" and also dialysis, not even heard it. After the doctor explained, I knew it and at that moment my world stop and I am breathless. I am only 19 years old and I am having kidney problem. All my hope gone in just a few words....... What am I suppose to do ? Why this happen to me ? How am I going to tell mum? Is this desease just as simple as flu ?

When I was homed, I told mum the news. You know, that is the worst moment I had ever felt. That was the most difficult moment for me to open my mouth to talk with mum. It was so so difficult to start the 1st word! I am too reluctant to speak when I saw her face. I still remember that time when I saw her, she was in the kitchen cooking for my dinner. I can see tears coming out from her eye, my heart was so pain, so pain. I can feel tears start to come out from my eye but I hold it. I start regret for telling her the news. I wish I can ran away from the situation, but I knew I can't. I told her not to worried, this is just a small case and not critical and maybe doctor gave the wrong result. Gosh............ it was not easy to finish the sentence. In just a few minutes I felt that mum become older, more wrinkle on her face and so pity. I am lying on my bed to suffered the pain in my heart. I keep on asking my self " Why? Why I must do something to hurt mum badly! She is innocent.................


No matter how far we go, home is the warmest place.

醒啦!醒啦!听到没有? 醒醒阿! 我觉得我的面好痛,好次被人刮紧. 我又听到一把很重中国口音的声音叫我. 当我打开眼时, 我蒙蒙查查的见到一位女人ger样. 之后我就唔记得发生了......... 当我再次醒过来时, 我发觉我奋系床上, 我全身有好多好多tube and wire. I also felt that I can't move my body and my whole body no feeling at all. I stared at my left and right, I saw there were 3 more beds beside me which there were also people lying on it. 我觉得全身好热好热同埋肚古古声响, I also don't know for how long I have been lying on the bed, also I don't when was night or day and also no idea what time and date it was. 然后听到姑娘开始入来又出去. 我问姑娘我奋左几内? 1 day 1 night I have been sleep. Wow, tat is the longest hour I have been slept. 之后我就问自己, 到底医生有无帮我做到肾移植阿? 我好傻地问姑娘, 姑娘哈哈地笑重用一口好重中国口音讲" 小伙子, 当然做了!" YES! YES! YES! 我真系换左肾, 真系阿! 我又再问自己" 系唔系真ger? 我到底系唔系发紧梦阿? 当时真系好多问题问自己, I just can't explain how fantastic was my feeling ! 不知不觉之下我又进入昏迷状态........................



有时做事不要太过在乎事后的成果, 最要在乎系到底对事情你有无100%地付出!

A must see video

Today I am not going to write anything because I just discover this video. It is a must see video! SUSAN BOYLE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

手术室的感觉

2006年5月19号四点多, 我正式被推入手术室. 好多人问我会唔会好怕? 我讲左啦, 完全无害怕感觉. 只系觉得非常非常的冻, 我全身一丝不挂的系手术床度等医生同麻醉师动手. 今次系我地四次入手术室, 内所以没其他特别感觉. 原来全世界ger手术室都系甘冷ger wor....... 奋系床上时, 我脑海闪过好多好多的片段. 有我小时候的画面, 同家人相处个片段啦, 患病时的片段, 重有, 我不断问自己系唔系发紧梦阿? 我同自己讲, 无错你唔系发梦你等到了,你真的等到依个机会啦! 你十年的坚持无白费到! 系脑海闪过片段中, 最多系妈妈的面孔. 我再同自己讲, 你要撑住无论依个过程有几辛苦都好, 一定要撑下去, 因为妈妈在家等你回家. 你一定要回来!

所以有人讲,系面对生死之间时, 我地脑海很奇妙的回出现一些片段. 真的! 你试过未阿? 我彩.................

天堂与地狱

今天我的病算叫做好一点啦....... 希望快点好因为依个星期六我要去公司的周年晚会. 今早出门口觉得天气怪怪, 因为很内无系早上吹起大风同埋天上出现一半阳光一半乌云. 好恐怖阿! 就好次...... 一面天堂一面地狱! 点知, 番到公司既然见到天上出现了两度彩虹, 对, 系双彩虹阿! 我觉得好像天上降下两度彩虹让人民逃离依个就来末日个世界. WAH! 我傻左阿? 可能吃左药有幻想! 哈,哈,哈............ 睇得戏太多啦.

上次讲到有三个我要多谢鼓励我写野个人, 之前讲左个两个靓女而加轮到我Uncle lor....... 距系个成功的商人,亦都系个好丈夫同好爸爸. 点解距会知道我的故事? 话说故事系2006年五月十九星期五开始.............. 依一日真系改变左我个一生阿. 依日我很清楚记得我重系广州市六军医院度洗紧肾, 时间大概十一点多啦.......我重记得洗肾之前我重吃左一见sardin sandwich. 当我洗肾洗到一半阿晶个妈妈很兴奋个样跑到我面前, 距手上重有两粒药丸. 距很开心个同我讲 " 医生讲依个下午你有得换肾啦, 快快吃左依两粒药丸!" 我重问距" 系唔系真个?" 个次系我一生人洗肾洗得最开心个一天!
洗完三个小时肾后......我就马上跑回病房准备做operation. 好惨个, 洗完肾重要知己行番去病房ger...... 护士叫我去灌肠, 护士放两条tube inside my back(u all know la where is the back) and then pour warm water inside until my stomach full of water then go to toilet to flush out all the XXXXXX la. 我做了三次, 感觉好唔舒服. 之后就要去injection, OMG it is terrible pain because of the medicine ! 然后我就一直等医生个通知, 个日我等左大大话话都有三个钟. 好坦白讲我少少害怕都无因为依个机会我等了足足十年啦!同完家人通完电话之后护士就准备要推我入手术室. 依一日就系我同自己系生死之间搏斗个一日. 而加真系一面天堂一面地狱lor.............

有人话生死系又个天帮你去决定, 但我话生死系掌握系自己手中!

今日病左!

今日好惨阿.......因为病左. 伤风又sore throat. 好辛苦阿, 头又痛所以今日写唔到多野, 重有请左半日假添......................听日继续lor................................

我的BLOG第一个读者

今日我的BLOG终于有一个读者啦............. 他叫做火云邪神. 原本很爽ger....点知火云睇第一眼就哈哈大笑了! 火云讲我有很多错字同埋讲我的BLOG 好好笑wor....... 不过都好, 起码我知道我写错字啦. 火云系我公司ger同事, 大大话话我地都识左有.........七八年左. 以前我地都系同一间公司度做. 除左火云, 系公司度重有五个死党. 大保太监, 加文, 白粉超, 先家华同埋月亮. 我们七个组成了7LINGES! 我就叫老妖, 火云!月亮同加文叫咩名左阿? 所以很奇怪lor....... 原本我地依七个都唔识ger点知而加变左好朋友wor.......依重唔系叫缘分lor...... 我会很珍惜ger......

缘这个字很奇妙, 它使这世上所有事物在冥冥中有了安排.从檫身而过的路人到相识成为好朋友,都系它的安排.

感谢鼓励我写BLOG的人

今日我想系尔度感谢鼓励我写BLOG的人, 多谢你阿.....吉帝同爱离诗. 死啦爱离诗唔晓体广东翻译添................ 点好阿? 吉帝又唔晓体wor.......... OK! thank you Kathy and Alice for support me for this blog, I will try my best to write this blog and hope can influnce someone out there so deseprate with life. 除左个两位靓女, 其实重有一个人很鼓励我将我的经历写成一本书. WAH! 写书??????? 边度得阿? 所以都系写BLOG好. 哪个人就是我的舅夫(uncle). Thanks uncle. 吉帝系我系公司认识的. 有时好奇怪lor 因为吉帝系HQ 做, 我就系工厂做,根本两个都唔同地方或state. 但系我们可以无所不谈, just like a long long known friend. 可能我地有缘gua...................... 千其唔好误会阿........ 人家结左婚啦. 但系我地都系好好个朋友.

讲到爱离诗, 系吉帝介绍比我认识ger........ 系网上认识ger...... 但系我们又很谈得来any topic we also talk. 她重厉害, 系西马住添............所以缘分衣回事唔到你唔信阿. 我有跟他们讲过我的story, 所以就叫我写出来lor...... 因为我地有一个同样个想法, 而加跌人阿.........真系误晓珍惜生命, 受不起错折, 同埋成日系度埋远个天点解对自己唔好, 但系所谓个跌人阿............. 从未回头体过自己有几幸福阿! 结果依跌人就放弃自己lor...............

当你觉得自己很惨时, 看看外面的世界. 比你更惨个人多不胜数阿..............朋友............